This too shall pass...

I felt pretty okay immediately after the spinal injection.  However, the next day I went to occupational therapy in the morning and there the headache and nausea set in...in a big way.  It's a common side effect and is usually more extreme if the body has difficulty retaining water within the cells.  Apparently, my body has a lot of difficulty with this.

The next few days were rough.  One might say I was down for the count.  The headache and nausea were uber persistent and left me unable to do much other than lie flat in bed.  Sunday rolled into Monday, and with no relief in sight, they gave me an IV to try and help increase my hydration.  I tried to keep up with the therapies (they even brought physical therapy to my room), but any physical exertion resulted in more nausea and headache.

On Tuesday I still wasn't any better, so I had a second IV which included a dose of dexamethasone every four hours throughout the night and into the next day.  I wish I could say I was tough and fought through it like a champ, but I'm a sensitive soul...and the days upon days of feeling terrible, feeling disappointed, and feeling like it was never going to end left me a bit out of sorts.  I tried to stay as positive as I could...but there were tears and a few moments of I just want to go home.  Thank goodness for my lovely ones – and their sweet reminders that I am not alone.

It's interesting to step outside yourself in times like these and observe the variety of experiences occurring simultaneously within – the part of you that is devastated, the part of you that is trying to fight, the part of you that is trying to stay calm, and the part of you that simply endures.  In the end, there's really not much you can do other than let time do what time does best – pass.

And that's when you turn to Alexi Murdoch to help the time pass a little more gracefully.

The Ragged Sea by Alexi Murdoch.  I love this song. It's hard to describe why, but if I close my eyes I feel like I'm walking through a field of golden sunlight, feeling the fullness of life that is present in every moment – the anticipation of new, the memories of old...the loves, the losses – and then holding that feeling with a gentle tenderness, like holding a warm familiar hand.  It makes my heart content.