Lifting the block...

I've had writer's block.  I've been trying to decide what to write for the last week and I've come up blank every time.  The reason?  I've been in a bit of a funk.  My fellow Pisceans are probably familiar with the phenomenon that is the funk.  Sometimes we just find ourselves in an emotional twist...and it takes a while to get untwisted.  

The good news is that I have some of my kinks ironed out, so now we can talk about how the week has progressed:

Last Friday I had the second spinal injection.  Ironically, the actual injection was a bit rockier than the first, but the aftermath was far less severe.  I could feel this injection more than the first time (they did a second shot of anesthetic halfway through because I could feel it too much!) and I ended up sleeping from 6pm until the next morning.  As a preventative measure, they did an IV the whole night and into the next day and gave me a dose of dexamethasone every four hours.  This seemed to work, as I did not have nearly as much nausea or headache as before.

On Sunday I was feeling well enough that we decided to venture out.  This was pretty much our first time leaving the hospital since we arrived (if you don't include the walk we took around the block on day three).  We treated ourselves to teatime at The Four Seasons (and yes, I cheated a little bit and had a warm buttery scone with strawberry jam...it went quite nicely with my earl grey tea!).  

But, unfortunately, amidst the grandeur of The Four Seasons I was in complete internal melt down mode – and my panic decided to stay for the remainder of the day (and a bit into the next).  Honestly, the problem (in typical AMA form) came back to those godforsaken bathrooms.   Bangkok does not do accessible...not even in a five star hotel.  And while it was still all fine (challenging, but fine), I had worked myself into such a state of frenzy over the entire issue...to the point that I felt panicked even in the taxi thinking what if I have to go to the bathroom, there is nowhere I could go.  In my defense...we all have to use the bathroom, and when you take away the luxury of not having to think about it, and you realize that in an 'emergency' it would probably take a crew of civilians and a complete loss of your privacy to get you to a bathroom...you kinda panic.  Now granted, I definitely went overboard – but it does really make you wonder, what do other people do?  Clearly, as my experience here at Better Being can attest, physical limitations do not discriminate by country – there are people here from Canada, Poland, Italy, Malawi, Chile, and many others.  Surely there are Thai people in Bangkok with physical difficulties...what do they do?

For now, I've decided not to think too much about the next 'outing.'  There is, after all, only so much a person can handle – and I think I have plenty on my plate right here within these Better Being walls.

So, after my extra-large dose of panic, I decided to duke it out with my nemesis: the oxygen chamber.  I lost.  (Sad, I know.)  I was starting to feel rather unwell again, lots of nausea and the pressure in my ears was off.  The oxygen chamber is pressurized and you have to clear your ears a lot on the way up and down...it usually returns to normal afterwards, but something did not feel right after this last time.  So, they gave me the week off from HBOT (secretly, I was sort of thrilled), but I feel like the oxygen chamber won...at least this round.

What's going well, you ask?  There's still a lot of silver linings…if you look for them.  I’ve had to make it my business to look for them.  

The pool is still great…and I’m still in love.  I’ve had a chance to work with quite a few different therapists (Beer, Ploy, Bee, and another gal).  They all have their own styles which is kind of fun.  Ploy and I are stretching…

We went for another walk yesterday and found a small slice of nature and a market that sells everything from Frosted Flakes to Magnum Ice Cream Bars (it’s good to know they’re there…you know, in an emergency)…

And, the staff continues to be sweet, encouraging and attentive.  I have an entourage of supporters that greet me every morning in my room and make me tell them that I’m doing great! (with extra exclamation).

Oh, and I discovered this little gem today...instant silver lining.  You might say it helped lift the block.

Summer Light by The Cave Singers