Finding Balance

This final week has been about putting all the pieces together.

On Tuesday we met with Dr. Torsak to discuss some test results and various reasons why my body had such an extreme reaction to the spinal injections (my aftermath is not the norm).  It comes as no surprise that my test results also indicated that I am not the norm (at least I'm consistent).  The tests showed a high level of inflammation in my body, a wildly upside down inter to outer cellular water ratio (basically weak cellular membranes are not allowing the cells to retain water), and some nutrient deficiencies (iron, vitamin D).  Put it all together and I have a rather compromised immune system – my body is not equipped to respond to stressors, so when it encounters stress the impact is more severe and it takes much longer for my system to recover.

After injections, the stem cells basically go to the bone marrow and 'hang out' while they mature and wait for a signal from the body for what it needs – and this maturation stage can take up to three months.  However, as long as the body is compromised the only signal it will get is to respond to the immediate inflammation.  So, step one is to get my body healthier – which fortunately isn't that complicated.  Following the nutritional plan and continued physical therapy will do the trick – and some time of course.  Then step two will be to get those stem cells to start regenerating some strength!  It's a doable plan – it's just going to take some diligence, some consistency, and a few tough changes in my day to day lifestyle.

Speaking of tough changes, on Wednesday we met with the nutritionist again.  The first time we met she gave me a homework assignment...to create some sample meal plans for when I get home...and, being the procrastinator that I am (my roommate didn't call me a slacker in college for nothing), I finally got around to doing my homework this week.

The good news is, I got an 'A' on my assignment.  The bad news is, the diet is COMPLICATED.  Each day I have to eat three balanced, diversified meals that altogether break down to:

13 portions of protein

4 portions of non- starchy vegetables

1/2 portion of a starchy vegetable

1 portion of fruit

1/2 portion of a grain

1/2 portion of a low fat dairy

2 portions of nuts and seeds

4 portions of avocado

6 teaspoons of olive oil

1 tablespoon of coconut oil

While I have had very little starchy vegetables or grains here (occasionally I get a few pieces of potato or a small amount of quinoa), when I'm home I can have a few carbs each day...like 1/4 cup of rice or half a piece of bread (I will take what I can get...and yes, strategically using these precious carbs is going to become a daily highlight!).

However, you may have noticed that sugar is not on the menu...and although they don't expect you to adhere to a firm never the loss of my beloved daily 'treat' is something that required a little grieving.  I felt rather sad about it after the nutrition meeting – a lot sad.  The AMA stages of grief began with a walk down memory lane and a tribute to my favorite bites of the year.

Gosh those were good.  Then we wallowed for a minute in the heartbreak of having to further restrict an already restricted life – especially when my sweet treats aren't just an enjoyable indulgence; I have a passion for the process.  Baking is my thing – and I've spent a lot of time perfecting my craft.

But we finally found our acceptance in balance.  A wise soul told me that living a balanced life is far healthier for your whole being than restricting yourself to an extreme to benefit just one aspect of your being.  So never is not going to be a part of the new regime, but occasional will – and I'm confident that I can learn to live with that.  It's still going to be a difficult adjustment though.

The need for balance has been a bit of a recurring theme on this journey – a need for emotional balance...physical balance...lifestyle balance.  And the real test is going to be when I get home – to see if I can find a way to balance this new lifestyle (a lifestyle of self-care and discipline) with my old (which still has all the same demands of work, family, friends...and my own desire for a bit of fun and spontaneity).  But it is, after all, the equilibrium of opposites that creates balance.  Which, if you think about it, means we really can have it all – just not all the time.

So, I have my work cut out for me…but I’m feeling good and I’m coming home equipped with lots of new knowledge, new tools and some memorable new felt experiences – not to mention all of my new cells!  We practice balancing in the water.  They turn the jets on and you have to stand in the current and keep your balance with the core of your body.  At first this was really hard…but I’m getting better, and we’ve inched our way closer and closer to the jet.